college will kill me

Everyday I get a e-mail from a college. This particular college choose the unfortunate name, oh so many years ago, of Stephen's College. I have never looked at their website, I have no idea where they are, if they are good or bad, and frankly I do not give a crap. With a name like that, how could it be good?

Sometimes I feel like changing my major to art or creative writing or something similar. Something that will never get me a good job and something I have zero talent in. Something that I really don't enjoy doing; I just like the idea of. Something without GPA's and SAT's and all the horrid stuff that goes along with that.

I didn't register for the SAT on time. So I tried to do late registration. Do you know how much late registration would cost me?? $68. TO TAKE A GOSH DARN TEST NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND SHOULD PAY ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY FOR.
So, apparently, I will just do my Literature and US History tests in Nov. However, that's a problem if I want to apply to PHC early-- I'm not sure if they'll let me send my scores about 3 weeks late.

I think I'm going to apply to The Kings College as well. http://farm1.static.flickr.com/215/475670426_754ea5f1b3.jpg?v=0 This is where I would have the pleasure of residing.
Okay, except, it would be $34,000 a year. *Cough* *AHEM* That's a LOT.
But there are Starbucks in the area.

PHC is a bit better for me, though, I think. I like it better. Hmm. That's a good sign.

in nineteen seconds you can walk out of someone's life forever

and apparently taking advantage of this is employed by many people.

I am currently doing drivers ed and learning about what to do in 'inclement weather'. This would be incredibly useful and all, except for the fact that CA does not have inclement weather. Or weather. We just have hot + dry (= grumpy). I have never learned more useless info. But hey, I am accomplishing something. And that is rather meritous. Did you know that you are required to wear a bicycle helmet until the age of 18? I guess that will come in handy when I'm driving a car. Also, horse-drawn vehicles are allowed to share the road. My darling, who knew?

Maybe I should do a beauty pageant. 'Cause that's exactly what Toddlers and Tiaras inspires one to do. :-) I love how all the mom's on that show are completely ugly and overweight. With the occasional trophy wife thrown in for good measure.

"There have been 149 CalTrans workers killed in the line of duty." Who knew that reparing the freeway is a warzone?

'Never pass a snowplow' Yeah, that will come in handy.

Yay! I finished the drivers ed course and they're sending my certificate. Success. I want to take the test sometime before my birthday. Ha.

birthday list

- Urban Outfitters gift card. Particularly because I am loving everything on their website right now.
- (almost) any purse from Aldo. The bigger the better, of course.
- the 'wedding ring' from Aldo (any of their rings, actually)
- an Amazon gift card, because you can buy anything in the world on Amazon :D
- American Apparel v-necks in any color (baby pink and black especially), available for $9 on Amazon. Amazing.
- Journals. A new largeish leather journal would be nice.
- Jewelry. Basically anything, long necklaces, small earrings, bracelets.
- OPI red nail polish.
- iTunes gift card. Uggggg.....my iTunes library is really missed up.
- if anyone wants to build an H&M here, that'd be kind of great.
- red peacoat and a new black peacoat that actually fits without 10 layers under it
- Starbucks gift card
- long, large scarves
- anything Paris themed, of course. London too. Any city, really.

23 Life Lessons Learned @ the D23 Expo- PT1

1. Do not argue with Disney fans over song lyrics. Somehow, they will have every Disney song from the most elusive movies on their phones and iPods. If they say it is "shining, shimmering, splendor" then by all means do not sing "shining, shimmering, splendid".
2. Liking Hannah Montana at age 16 is somewhat disturbing. Liking Hannah Montana at 35 and pontificating on finer aspects of the Hannah Montana culture at 35 is extremely disturbing. Not to mention that true Disney fans consider all aspects of the Hannah Montana brand ridiculous. And would never bid on Lot 41.
3. Rich Disney fans are also fat. This is sort of a flashback to 'olden times' where your size was reflective of your personal monetary value. But, considering how narrow many Disneyland rides are, it is odd that such ardent admirers would be so large.
4. The Haunted Mansion is not just a ride. It is something to base one's entire existence on. To some Disney fans, this is a normal occurence of life. To others, it is somewhat horrifying to see a old guy stacking a stroller 5 feet tall with Haunted Mansion pins. And making his kid walk.
5. Do not cut in front of elderly, British, Disney Princess fans in line. Enough said.

hey stephen, thanks so much for leaving, i'm so glad we didn't stay the same

Dear Stephen,

I really should be over you. In fact, if you knew how much your existence bothers me, you would probably be amused. And your ego would grow bigger and bigger and bigger...as it has a talent for doing. In fact, that's the only talent you have. Stephen and the amazing growing ego. It should be a book.

For the record, one of the most annoying things about you is your Twitter. No one cares that you have your own action figure @ Wal Mart. No one cares that you hate traffic, you love Los Angeles, and that your muscles (like your ego) grow bigger every day. No one cares that you bought a v-neck, go running, or make your own YouTube videos. Millions of more attractive people do these same things everyday. Just because your hair is curly and you have been in two extremely bad movies does not mean you are amazing.

For the record, you being in two movies and on a ridiculous Nickelodeon show that no one with brains would watch does not qualify you as a star. You are not a star. *Repeat Repeat REPEAT* Just because you have been badly playing guitar for five years also does not qualify you as a musician/rock star/talented. Just because you have "friends" does not mean you are popular. Just because you have abs does not mean you are an Abercrombie model. Just because I am taking the time to write this does not mean I am desperate.

For the record, I have no reason to be bitter at you. I have no reason to hate you. But somehow, I still do. Somehow you manage to be incredibly annoying, even though you're miles away. Okay, your not really. But you might as well be. I'm convinced you paid you fan club members to join. I'm also convinced that secretly your life really sucks. I'm convinced you write your own comments on IMDB.

For the record, yes I was kind of a stalker. Desperate, maybe. Creepy, crazy, not incredibly attractive, sociable, or entertaining. I know. I didn't know it at thirteen. But thanks for letting me know.

For the record, some day, in some future moment, we will meet again. I will look fabulous and be making more money than you and hanging on the arm of someone much, much better than you. And I will be wearing Christian Loubutins and you will look shorter than ever. (Not even growing out your ugly afro will help) I will be drinking coffee and I will exude fabulousness. Secretly, I've always been more fabulous than you. I just didn't show it.

Love you. Not.


PS: Oh, by the way, congratulations. I'm not to bitter to say congratulations on attending the College Road Trip premier. Goodness. You really are in the in-crowd now, eh babe?